foam

Clark Foam Closes; Kooks Mutate.
	Orange County, CA--On Monday 12/05/05 legendary surfboard blank
	manufacturer Clark Foam closed its doors due to environmental and safety concerns. 
	Although many feared lack of supply would send surfboard prices through the
	roof, a bigger problem has surfers more worried: hundreds of kooks have begun
	to spontaneously mutate.
	
	Newbies, hodads and kooks, apparently encouraged by the news of unecessary surfer 
	misery and hardship, have chosen to add to the fray by self-splicing themselves
	into not one, but two, untalented surfer beings.
	
	"Like rats birth larger litters during famine, it appears that crappy surfers
	are protecting their annoying territory by dividing and multiplying. Have you seen
	Lower's lately? Frankly, I'm concerned," commented Dr. Strangestance from the UCSD
	School of Barney Biota.
	
	Teams of mercenary surfing "plumbers" have been contracted to remove the vermin from
	local waters. Although the sharpshooters are making headway with the clean-up effort,
	experts estimate it could take months to attain previous population levels.
	
	As one plumber remarked after blasting a kook from his funboard in an explosion of brains
	and blood, "I guess not everyone is shooting blanks these days."
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