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Asks For Pintail; Gets Squashtail

COCOA BEACH, FL--A Tanned grommet, Ricky Phelps, likes to think he has a normal speaking voice. But after receiving his surfboard from Blue Room Dimensions that he custom-ordered a month ago, he is having second thoughts: the rat bastards gave him a squashtail instead of a pintail.

“I was like, really trippin’ on the phat rails, and like, dude, these are some sweet rails,” Phelps explains. “And then I see the tail. And I am like. WHAT THE!” The young ripper points to the board and skates away in disgust, executing an ollie at the last possible moment on the storefront handrail.

This is not the first complaint hear in these parts against BRD. There was that one time, when Ricky’s bro, Kit, blew out his flip flop and almost spilled his soft-serve ice cream. Kit was “so pissed off” and he eventually “lost his cool” and returned the defective footwear for “a full refund” which was good because the group of normally sedate, scholarly youths would have “gone agro” on the small surf board merchandiser that employs approximately four locals during the high season.

BRD had no comment at the time of this report. But Ricky Phelps, who claims to have “fully ordered a pintail, dude, I am not eeeeeven lying” has his own prediction of how the matter should be solved.

“Better break me off a phat chunk of cabbage. Going to bust some windows if I don’t get a pintail, dude. I’m like, this is fucked up. And they’re like, gee buddy, you won’t even know the difference. And I’m like, right. Like I don’t even know the difference between a squashtail and a pintail. Like I’ve never even surf. Dude. I like surf every day of my life. Like, dude, there is a BIG difference.”

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